You know, most people would shudder to even glimpse this room. It reminds me of a hospital, in a far less benign sense of the word – everything is compressed, white and sterile. The stretcher bed is neatly made, currently dangling from the sides. However, the worst part adorns the windows and door: sinister iron bars, trapping you like a rat in a cage. But I got over the claustrophobia long ago. You seem to be having trouble adjusting though.

Yes, my name is Ashlynn Hall, and I am clinically insane.

Actually, I don’t know how long I’ve been held captive by these malignant walls and this confining straight jacket. When you spend so much time slipping in and out of sanity, you tend to lose count of the years. But I have never forgotten the lachrymose tale that brought me to this hell.

Looking back at it now, I suppose it was another one of those “be careful what you wish for” stories. As a kid, I had always favored hanging out with the guys, and as a result they always saw me as one of them. But as I became a teenager I began to wish they’d notice that I’m a girl. I wished that just one boy would be attracted to me, that just one would think I’m special.

And I got my wish when I met David. He had secretly liked me for years, completely oblivious to how jealous I was each time he started dating one of my friends. But as fate would have it we finally got together, and I can safely say that it was the best – and worst – six months of my life.

See, fate’s a funny thing. If you want to be happy some of the time, then you’ve got to be absolutely miserable too. So of course, fate played upon my wish for attention and gave me Thomas.

Thomas was well-known, but at the same time a social pariah, as all the people that knew him hated him to the very core. However, he somehow floated through his life blissfully unaware of his notoriety.

Don’t look at me like that, it may be harsh but it’s true. But I actually didn’t have a problem with the boy. Or, I didn’t, anyways, until he threatened to rape me.

Two of my friends were scared for me and reported him to the school, which failed to take any action. I had to beg my mom on my hands and knees not to go to the police. And I was infuriated – how could Marley and Shannon go behind my back like that? After all, he was only joking…right?

I figured that it was all over for good anyways. For about a month he left me alone. But then it all started going downhill again. Thomas spent the next few months groping me during class. I left school every day in a noticeably bad mood, but I managed to keep it a secret – from my parents, from my friends, and from David.

But even I knew something had to change. As I felt his fingers dancing up my thigh for the last time, my resolve broke down. Shakily I told Marley everything – every touch, stroke and threat.

And you know all the school did to him? Five days suspension! Only five days after all he did to me! How could they think that would stop him?

And it didn’t.

It was so ironic. My friends, especially David, always used to tell me that I’m paranoid. I always expected the worse. But it’s not paranoia if they really are out to get you, and sometimes the worst that could happen is the most plausible outcome.

I came to school the Tuesday after Thomas was allowed back on campus, nervous and unsure of what to expect. As I walked into third period, my eyes scanned the classroom anxiously. Thomas wasn’t in his seat.

Relieved, I practically floated through third period. The class passed far too quickly. It was the last happy hour of my entire life.

The bell rang for lunch, and I swear, I might have skipped to the cafeteria. I slid into my seat at the usual table, kissing David happily. Marley rolled her eyes and pretended to be disgusted.

The table was soon packed with my many friends, and within moments we were chatting cheerily. I was in the middle of a sentence when I felt a hand clasp around my throat and pull me up from my seat. I looked up into the hateful eyes of Thomas with terrified surprise.

“You think you could just do that to me and get away with it?” he screamed in my face. “Did you think I’d let you get away with it?”

David furiously leapt to his feet, cursing and threatening Thomas with as much hatred as I had ever seen. The lack of air was turning my cheeks a pale shade of blue. My ears were just beginning to ring when he dropped me to the floor, coughing and sputtering.

“Ashlynn!” I heard people shouting my name. As Marley rushed to my side, David moved to avenge my lack of breath.

The click of a gun stopped him in his tracks.

“Do you really think I’d let you go?” Thomas repeated, angry tears rolling down his cheeks. The entire cafeteria had gone silent in fear, no one even mustering a frightened scream.

My eyes widened as his calm and steady hand aimed the gun at me. The last thing I remembered before the gunshot was David’s voice calling my name in utter dejection.

Then the world went black.

I woke up a week later in a room eerily similar to this one, connected to heart monitors with needles in my arms. Nobody wanted to tell me what had happened. It took days of emotional blackmail to convince my mom to finally tell me the news I had been dreading: it wasn’t just me. I fell to pieces as she told me about David and Marley.

Everything became a haze after that – every painful moment bled seamlessly into the next. I couldn’t bring myself to live again, and after the third overdose, David’s mom had me committed. I’ve been here ever since.

It’s funny, really. When they were living, David and Marley would always tell me that none of it was my fault. But now that they’re dead, they keep telling me all I did wrong…

You’re laughing at me. No need to deny it, I understand completely. I already know I’m insane. Look, I’ve got the scars to prove it. But my story usually induces tears, not laughter.

Oh? I’m so sorry, I don’t mean to cry. It’s just that I haven’t talked about this in so long, I was surprised when you asked.

What did you just say? Did I think you’d let me get away with it…? You know, I thought you looked familiar.

So you came to finish me off then?